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Why Being A Quiet Person Is Not A Bad Thing

Updated: May 2, 2023

Greetings beloved being of love and light. If you are a naturally quiet person, I am sure you have experienced society trying to force you to be different. But is being a quiet person really a bad thing? And why does society prefer those who are loud, talkative and opinionated?

Spirituality is all about remembering who you truly are. This involves discovering that the illusory character you thought you were is just an illusion. You need to go beyond your mind to remember who you truly are. When you go deep within, you realise that the very core of your being is silent and still. It is your illusory individual character, your ego, that moves and talks and thinks. Being silent is supposed to be the most natural state. But because we have fallen asleep at the wheel and allowed our egos to take over as the autopilot, we have strayed far away from our natural state. As a result, those who are heavily associated with their egos are often very talkative and loud. However, those who are more aligned with who they truly are are much more silent. Therefore, in reality, being a more quiet person ought to be seen as a great thing.

This is not to say that we all ought to be silent all the time and never talk to each other or have any thoughts. But it is about remaining in our natural, silent state until a situation requires us to talk or think. Think about it for a second — why do we talk and think when we don’t need to talk or think? It is because when we are spiritually asleep, we are not the masters of our minds. We have become slaves to the ego program in our minds. Our egos are in control of what we think, say and do. We allow the ego to just talk utter gibberish and nonsense for the great majority of our lives.

So why is being quiet or silent seen as a bad thing? It is because in silence, there is no use for the ego. Without thoughts and words, the ego essentially dies. And your ego always wants to prove to you that it is real and useful, so it will always resist silence. That’s why many of those who are very associated with their egos will feel uncomfortable and awkward around those who are more silent. And they project this discomfort on to the quiet people, making them feel as if they are the cause of their discomfort. To see how associated people are with their minds, I often stay silent for a while when I first meet them. If they are comfortable with the silence and don’t feel like they always have to fill the silence, I know they are more aligned with their true nature. But if they constantly keep talking to avoid the awkwardness they feel during silence, I know they are heavily associated with their ego.

Because egos feel awkward and uncomfortable around silence, our society has developed into a chaotic market of people constantly talking. And because most situations do not require people to talk, what is often said is just gibberish. People would rather spurt out nonsense than keep silent. This is why people often share so many opinions and complain and gossip so much. Complaining, gossiping and sharing opinions are easy ways for egos to fill silences. In fact, this is often how egos connect with each other. But these connections are based on superficial things, and aren’t deep connections.

Those who are more aligned with their true nature rarely complain, don’t engage in gossip, and aren’t opinionated. So when an ego is around someone who is more aligned with their true nature, there is a mismatch. Because the aligned person prefers to be silent than to complain, gossip or share opinions, the other person’s ego becomes very uncomfortable. The ego doesn’t know how to connect with the other person. The ego may start to think that the other person is boring, or that there is something wrong with them. But is someone boring just because they don’t want to speak unnecessarily? Is there something wrong with someone who doesn’t want to create low-vibrational energies, such as those created by complaining, gossiping and sharing opinions?

You may ask, “What is wrong with sharing opinions?”. Think about what opinions are for a second. Opinions are just judgments the mind makes based on its programmed beliefs. Opinions about what is right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse. But for what possible reason would you share your opinion with someone who hasn’t asked for it? Any opinion that is shared when not asked for has behind it the intention to control life. The ego is always trying to control life, and so shares its opinions and wants everyone to agree with its opinions. If someone disagrees, the ego feels it has to argue with them until they agree because the ego always wants to feel right. When it gets someone to agree with its opinion, it feels pride, and it moves one step closer to its goal of controlling life. It sounds silly and childish, but that is what the ego is like.

However, opinions are irrelevant. Existence doesn’t care about anyone’s opinions of it. Existence just is, and you can either agree with it or not, but that is your choice. Do you think trees care about your opinion of them? Do you think the sun cares about your opinion of it? Do you think a bird cares about your opinion of it? Of course not. Opinions are unnecessary. Only egos say “I think this…” or “I believe that….”. When someone has found truth within, they never say “I think” or “I believe”. Thinking and believing are only required when you don’t know something. Enlightened people either share their truth or they will stay silent. They never do anything but those two things. Have you ever heard of Buddha or Jesus or Osho saying “I think” or “I believe”? And enlightened people will not care about whether others agree with them or not.

Social media has exacerbated this issue, giving a platform for people to share their opinions and complaints. It encourages people to have opinions on everything. But why do we have opinions of so many things that do not concern us directly? What is the point? All beliefs, judgements and opinions act as filters as we go about life. For us to truly experience life properly, we must all drop our beliefs, judgements and opinions. When you are in a state of total acceptance of what is, it is impossible to have opinions because you have no desire to control life. If someone has many opinions and beliefs, it just means they are distant from their true nature and the true nature of reality. And those who aren’t opinionated are more likely to know truths.

Because we live in a world where the great majority of people have forgotten who they truly are and are associated with their egos, those who are loud, talkative and opinionated are celebrated. And those who are more quiet are looked down upon. Those who are quiet have less of an ego, and that’s why egos view quiet people as lacking a personality. This is why people often prefer to socialise with those who are louder and more talkative. This is why employers prefer to hire those who have more to say. This is why quiet people are seen as weak. This is why social events seem to be a competition between everyone about who is the loudest, most opinionated, and most talkative. This has created a society where everyone has strayed so far away from their true nature. And with so many people talking at each other all the time, we as a society have become very bad listeners. Couples feel they need to go to therapy to have a referee to make sure each person is heard. People hire mediators to settle disputes because otherwise they wouldn’t listen to each other.

If there were no quiet people, who would listen to the talkers? It would be utter chaos. Being a quiet person who is comfortable with silence is a beautiful thing. And you can really connect with someone on a deep level when you are just silent and looking into their eyes. 30 minutes of this allows you to connect more deeply with someone than years of talking. This is because when you look into someone’s eyes, you see them for who they truly are without any interference from your ego or theirs. You can see your oneness with them, which allows you to truly love them, rather than loving someone just because you have superficial things in common. People who have found inner love tend to be quieter. Because they love themselves, they don’t feel the need to try and force conversations and interactions because they’re not desperate to get love from others.

Of course, not all quiet people are comfortable with silence and love themselves. Some people are quiet because of low self-confidence. But all those who have spiritually awakened are naturally quiet people. They only talk when they deem it necessary. They only intentionally interact with others when they feel it could be beneficial to either party. Otherwise, they’re more than happy to just be on their own in silence. And I am not just talking about silence in terms of not saying anything; their minds will be silent too. Often, whenever two enlightened people meet, they do not really say much to each other. They have both discovered the truth so there is no need to talk with each other unless they’re working together somehow.

Silence, stillness, emptiness and nothingness are the very core of your being. In silence and stillness, you can find what you’ve always been looking for — the joy and love you feel when remembering who you truly are. Being a more quiet person makes this journey of remembering a lot easier and quicker. There is no need for you to be any different. So I encourage you to embrace the beauty of silence, no matter what other people say.


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